We've all dreamed of shooting someone for talking during a movie. Don't act like you haven't. If I had possessed a gun and marginally less willpower, the elderly couple that explained "the ship is sinking!" when I saw Titanic would be long dead, as would my college associate who kept quoting the Shakespeare lines as they occurred in Shakespeare in Love, not to mention some thousand or so noisy babies. In a way, I almost admire the shooter in this story for manninacting out every moviegoer's fantasy:

A South Philadelphia man enraged because a father and son were talking during a Christmas showing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button took care of the situation when he pulled a .380-caliber gun and shot the father, police said. ...The gunshot victim, a Philadelphia man who was not identified, told police a man sitting near him told his family to be quiet and threw popcorn at his son.

So some devout theatergoer was packing heat when he went to see Benjamin Button, and he obviously wanted to hear the Oscar-caliber dialogue, plus he clearly warned the victim by throwing popcorn at his son. What was he gonna do, not shoot the father of the loud family? The victim was only shot in the arm and ended up being ok, fortunately, but here's the best best of the article:

Cialella then sat down to watch the movie. Police arrived a short time later and arrested Cialella and confiscated his weapon, Vanore said.

Max Silvestri is here to gather round' the TV and count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 while the ball drops and people kiss strangers and count down some of his favorite New Year's Eve movies! Take a seat on the New Year's Eve movie couch and check out clips from When Harry Met Sally, Happy New Year Charlie Brown, and 200 Cigarettes and get ready to ring in the New Year!

Congratulations NBC! You've managed to sneak in one of my favorite reality show moments of 2008 right before the buzzer, thanks to the following melee on your so-so dating show Momma's Boys. Meet Cara, one of the many women striving for love (and, in her case, a date) with one of the three eligible men in the house, whose mother's just happen to be tagging along for the highly judgmental ride. For the most part the show is highly uncomfortable to watch: The mothers are pretty stereotypical (the "Jew", the "Cool Mom", and the "Horrible Racist") as are the girls (99 percent of the contestants have appeared in some sort of nude modeling magazine -- a mother's dream!). Each week, the contestant's find out their fate through -- vomiterally -- text message. They either get a "yes", a "see me by the pool", or a "pack your bags and go." Last night, easily the most coked-up ostrich-face of all time, Cara Quici, got the dreaded "not interested" text, meaning she would have to immediately pack up and leave. Her reaction is, as they say, epic. It's good to know that the most annoying people on Planet Earth react exactly as you would expect them to in a time of crisis. SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET A DATE: "All this ABYOOSE and she DIDN'T EVEN GET A DATE?!" Thankfully, she had a racist there to comfort her! Hey, Cara, here's an idea: How about you try getting a date, you know, NOT on national television? It's called Craigslist Casual Encounters (shortcut is herpes.biz), bookmark it gurl. (Shedidn'tevengetadate.)

Here's a sneak preview of one of the songs you'll hear on The Lonely Island's upcoming CD/DVD Incredibad. It's called "We Like Sportz" and it's your typical awkward white man rap video (and is the official sequel to "Just 2 Guyz", which is hilarious especially considering it was made in 2005). Keep an eye out at the 1:34 mark for a very j*zz-in-my-pants Jorma expression. I'm just a girl who likes Lonely Island. I am very much looking forward to Incredibad.

Gatecrasher reports that Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez are getting divorced -- but they're waiting until Valentine's Day to announce it. Thankfully we've been given fair warning or else they could've put a real damper on the only day of the year reserved for celebrating sweet romance. As it turns out, Valentine's Day isn't the only holiday they've planned to ruin. To foil their elaborate scheme of holiday wet-blanketing, we got our hands on an excerpt of Marc and J.Lo's 2009 calendar:

2009 Important Dates Good Friday - April 10 - Eat at Ruby Tuesday 4/20 - April 20 - Premiere anti-marijuana PSA and snitch on stoned college kids Earth Day - April 22 - Scatter six-pack rings in dolphin breeding grounds Arbor Day - April 23 - Drive buzzsaw Battlebot through the rainforest Mother's Day - May 10 - Dangle twin babies over a balcony Independence Day - Star in salsa-fusion musical as Mr. and Mrs. Abraham Lincoln Halloween - Wear really unslutty costumes Christmas - Replace all gifts everywhere with copies of El Cantante